Problem

So much has just happened, but so little.. so much exaggerated.  I feel stimulated now.  They keep playing around with me.  Then, sometimes they claim they didn't do it.

Being Used

I just feel a certain attitude pervading the air being encouraged.  People wanna rub all over me for non reason.  They think there's something to get back at with me and just with me.  I'm more of a fact and physical person than someone who thinks like a balloon.  Well, maybe my head is a balloon.  I don't just shoot sparks in the sky.  I say, okay what does this person look like?  What do I look like to them?  There's a start.  What's going on, I ask.  Do I just wanna be told I'm no good basically and say that it has to do with something that's not good to do with it?  If someone should spend some time excelling, it's not the time to be cheap.  Why not leave them be?  Being precautious.  Yea, why is telling me part of the fun?  I shouldn't trust people.  I already said I didn't, but they're like that dog in Dr. Doolittle that jumps in the air.  I mean no harm.  I just know people are like not accepting what I post when it's kind.  They just say oh but you got upset at something that was for me.  No, I didn't.  I got upset myself and maybe of something or someone else.  I just knew that the message was laced with laughter and pressure.  I want to talk it out to get help, not to attack.

Posts

I know how Louisianians work.

They just want to be the pros at things, like people in Kentucky.  They put on a facade.  They are laid back workers..  They come up to you and say something notorious.  No heart.  Mine has been dissed.  They then turn on like they are Mr. Positive.  Like Pennsylvania, the threat is a bunch of bologna.  Why do I care to post this?  Because it happens.  It's funny to notice.  I'm part Louisianian..


How People Roll

Lotta people act like they will actually do something, anything, to improve the world or your life but lack the skill.


Why I'm Annoyed

I get secret messages.  They think I'm a male chauvinistic "pig."


I don't know where these things come from.  Do they just wanna tell me I'm ugly?  These people are messed up.  Am I ugly compared to Dr. Phil?


Nevermind how I got here.  I just got reminded of Louisianians.  The worst is still yet to come.  They think because I thought this with something else it will.  Wow, what a big responsibility.  I'm here on my blog.  It should be pretty clear what's not going on with me.  I don't wanna think about messages that mean nothing, that mean no harm.

Do you see..

Italians and Jews roll outta trouble?

Update

Twitter Profile

Clevelander

When Racism Exists

When people tell an Asian who they are and that it's bad racially.

When you tell someone they have to be a certain way if they are being good, but if they're bad they just say they're lame.  Something like that, I forget.

Italians and Jews

*beep*

I gave up myself for this race!

And they just tell me what I am?  I do not want to be the idea that Asians are ugly.  I do not want to be limited to think Asian.  I know what I do.  There are some questions.

I don't understand.  I have Jew and Swiss.  I'm just not like that I know of 50% Jewish.

So, cross Italy off the list, along with NY.

There's no excuse.  }:]

I hear an Italian joke coming on..

..much like another joke

That we all just ditched our lives and wanted to be like this.  I cannot believe the dating sites.  They're worse than Facebook.

I guess someone's yodelin' got the best of us somehow or another.

So, then why

aren't there that many of the kind of person people are looking for?

So..

..anything goes for some others cuz they ain't on Blogger.

and

this girl isn't even like allowed to speak to me now

A "close retation"

reminded me of my girl cousin.. rambunctious all growing up and now still the same person

now she's not even a part of my family and comes up as an old girl bestie


Rambunctious is an okay word to use in what situation is in my mind.  Don't feel like elaborating.

So..

..is it better to flamboyantly put your race out there like you gotta have something over another race when everyone else is sound?

I cannot

be afraid to go on a diet.  Banana won't hurt me!

***

The idea that my dad should have some possessive command over me all of a sudden at age 28 when I'm so careful to be good most all of the time.  This is getting sick.  There is closure, but I don't think it's over.  Yes, um, people are putting things in my face that I already did what I was supposed to with it.  I don't mean to bring anything up to certain people but to a general audience that might know something.

How's this look?

a dress with a building on it, a good design

link

I'm willing myself

to eat healthy.  Those huge salads.  Not a box full..

.."I think

I'm gonna die if I eat another burger or dog, my heart.  I'm on pills.  I wasn't fond of them this morning after the 2 pop-tarts.

A Better Catch Phrase to Think

I forget.. "Don't talk to me."

Update

I added an old dating site I was on: POF.

Why treat me like I'm crazy to start?

Sorry I was rambunctious and lost it thinking of being bugged by someone every day.  It's not that I am bugged by the person but by what happens when I think about my somewhat innocent somewhat not reaction to what people say that's insulting and throw someone in the topic, like really fast like I can't accept it.  I'll grow up.  I'll try to keep ignoring it again.  It's so hard.  They dig into me here.  They literally affect my reactions at constant sometimes.  I didn't even say anything bad about anyone themselves but the digging in so it's hard to ignore or something.  Like all digging up in me, like I need a lot of time with no contact with real people.  People tend to ignore my needs.  I'll try to respect others and not create a problem that affects others.  I didn't mean anything to begin with.

Babies

Who should I do it with?  I got no friends.

Just got back

charging my iPod, had Chinese buffet xp didn't eat much but had some sugar

Judge Judy

soo smart

Problem

When I say they hurt me or get hurt, they just do it more, send more of an insult.

Hurting Me

Just press the button?

Is this about..

hurting me or helping someone else yourself/ves?

Dr. Phil

You're counting on me to be in trouble?  You're gonna be disappointed.

I submitted it

to Dr. Phil.

Website Update

link

OK

Why do you need me to move out of the way so much if you're so great?  Why do only you not need a reason to be the season?

Problems

I was watching Dr. Phil with my parents eating, and they kept acting all mean with insults I can't even remember.  The light is starting to smear in my vision.  I just feel people are all hating on me.  Why is everything about this 1 girl, like she got everything I was earning/deserving.

We've tracked down who helps and who doesn't.  They are acting like they didn't do it.  They started it.  So, it's someone lying.  They know who they are.

What's wrong exactly?  People, my parents, are being mean to me.  You think saying someone is getting attention couldn't possibly say anything.  Well, a lotta things are being said.  Things I can't recall and don't know what to pick.  They're calling me curse words in secret, like the way they make sounds.  People here don't all know what they're doing nor care.  It's my dad that's the complicated problem.  Supposedly, I am nothing now.  Because of this person.

Reportable

Sometimes, it's just too much.  I do the right thing.  It's like we can't trust anyone accomplished or they fell for a trap.  They wouldn't agree with that I don't believe that's what happened.  It's when I go on the street or hear my parents.  People act like anyone I thought was good is bad and lotta them are.  I just heard a commercial and know I'm right and other people are wrong.  What is possibly wrong?  You hold a grudge, nothing I can do about it.

Something Too Funny Not to Post

Honestly..

They are rubbing in to certain people that if something happened to me that they get it when they didn't get it but just rub insults against me in rather than letting them have some experience.  It's too bad, all these people who aren't even at stake in their reputation get the same symptoms.. It's their fault they are where they are now and try to rub in things they shouldn't rub to other kinds of people.

The Price Is Right

An attractive white girl looked at a black lady, and the black lady was not bad to her like always to me.

I'll ho-!!!

Lotta people moved down over to the oldest continuing city in the US and 2nd oldest.  It's in NE FL.  I moved up but lived in the big city above it right before that.

New Old Pictures of Me

Imgur

Introverted Brunettes

What do you think of shy girls with black hair saying other people are wrong in a suggestive way, like normal people who aren't good enough?

Food I Ate

the rest of the burger, some fettucini alfredo that almost burned and was dry, not sure why, and fruit chews (sees bubble of imagination pop of everyone's childhood born in the 1980s at the sound of fruit chews)

A Challenge

People like to challenge challengers, but not I.

Excited

Everyone is either appealing or attractive in some way more than someone else!!  Isn't that exciting?

These people wanted me to not know how to accept life.

Think Think Think

Only really cool people are mean to me.  Most people agree against it with me, but sometimes they don't, like today, at 1st almost every car that passed me.

I should be happy, but I end up reacting.  I feel that people hate me cuza how other people I'm related to, such as my parents, are in some way or that they want to do away with me, instead.  Like I said, I react and it's hard to figure out what's going on.  I just know it didn't happen before, "like I know I did something."  Why do people believe one little mistake means you can mistreat them?  Couldn't that be the same as the original mistake?

My only thing right now is being punished.  Thing that perturbs me.  Why are people acting like they didn't just say someone is better than me?  Why are all the cool people following along with this?  Why are people ratting me out, like I can't make myself cool?

I admitted there are people above and below, but lotta people are below thinking they're above cuza race.

The Answer

to the reaction is a joke.  Period.

Apology and/or Explanation

I asked if Bella was a wannabe seductress on Twitter.  Guess it was too shattering a question to take.  Go ahead, you deserve to try to outdo me now, right?  (No.)  I saw a picture of her mom looking very seducing, and I noticed that Bella seems to hold grudges.  So, I didn't intend to create the trouble.  All I said was like, "Look at the wannabe seductress."  She always seems special among friends, and mine dumped me and stuff.  I'm the same kind of person as her, tho, if you know what I mean.  Different, called or look cute.  Different as in neat and classy in some way.

I don't know why you'd draw something bad from that.  Seems Twitter's too short and it's hard to respond to that for some reason.  I would talk about someone like that, but I told it to her face concisely.

Career

Singing and Dancing

Dating

The younger guys match me more, but I want a guy who's at least 28 1/2 like me, technically older.  I won't bug the younger guys.

Sunblock

I'm trying to wear sunblock each day again.

New Picture of Me

Imgur

The State You Hate

If you hate the perfect state, then you don't hate Pennsylvania.

In Case

I wanted kids by 40, but I figured I'd need to start dating now.  I haven't found anyone compatible who likes me, yet.  Maybe, this grows with seasoning.  It's a good place for my money to have gone.  I found what eHarmony was.  OkCupid has it where you can see all the people and the others don't show enough.  Also, you take a test and can't change the answers.  I was rejected the 1st time.

I wasn't even sure I wanted a family.  I just wanna be safe.  I could always divorce and put the kids in boarding school.  But why?  I just meant I thought a single life would be nice.  I don't even know why I want children because I feel greedy like they're just an experiment to see if their life is better than mine.  I know what I know.

Kids

I want to have a boy 1st and then a girl.  I wanted to play football with the boy, as well as baseball.  I figure if he has a dad, they'd play basketball.

The girl I will put in ballet as an infant, Mommy and me, and singing ASAP, which might be with me and then lessons maybe by 2 or 3.

Piano is too much for now.  Our kids can't have it all.

I will have the boy in football and baseball ASAP.  The girl.. I forget.  Oh yes, a major ballet company/school.  I guess I will try to get her singing lessons up to an hour ASAP.  A nearby college might also have a good program.

So, I'm 28, and it would be neat to have kids in my 20s.  I'm gonna look at Norway, too, still, at least for the experience.  The other boy from Norway self-deleted.

Report

Well, I feel I just have to disregard and am even told to forget it about some things.

Lotta people are mean to me just for kicks, tho.  They say I did something if I try to disdain it.  I just feel really tacky.


How I Feel

I feel that it's silly to lose things in people just because you messed up on thinking of something under pressure.  No one gives me time alone, and I am not taken step by step thru anything that means anything.  I get attacked and pretty much attacked more if I attack back.

I figured that other people would own the underworld if they lost a person to every mistake they made.

I want back to be a normal person, not someone tested to mess up at some point in one's own life.  I could only move on and have been thinking about children..

What I'm Doing

drying a bunch of clothes
have to wait for the iron in my parents's bedroom
washing my hat so I can take a picture of me and post it online

Ready

I actually got dressed and put on makeup.  I walked and showered 1st.  Breakfast was 2 chocolatey Pop-Tarts, a hot dog, and part of a hamburger.